Archive for the ‘Nutty Jokes’ Category

Babysitter caught on nanny-cam abusing 6-month-old girl charged with assault

Posted By Staff

Date: December 30th, 2015

nannyNew York – A Brooklyn babysitter was twice caught abusing a helpless 6-month-old girl on a nanny-cam planted by the tiny victim’s suspicious parents, sources said.

Elena Bass was charged Wednesday with assault and acting in a manner injurious to a child after the twin roughing incidents just prior to Christmas, sources said.

According to cops, the Staten Island woman “violently removed” the child from a changing table in her employers’ downtown Brooklyn home — and on another occasion, slammed the girl down into an armchair.  More

Woman going wrong way on I-95 kills 4 others and self

Two Long Island men bound up at brothel, robbed of iPhones and cash after they responded to hoverboard Craigslist ad

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Female MMA fighter holds phone thief crying for his “mom” and “daddy”

Posted By Staff

Date: September 4th, 2015

femaleACAILANDIA, Brazil – A phone thief in Brazil ended up crying for his “mom” and “daddy” when his victim, a female MMA fighter, put him into a choke hold.

A bystander filmed Monique Bastos, 23, a professional MMA fighter with a blue belt in jiujitsu, holding a crying Wesley Sousa de Araujo in a triangle choke hold with her legs after he and another man allegedly approached her and a second woman on an Acailandia street and demanded they hand over their cellphones.

Bastos said one of the men got away with her phone, but she was able to get Araujo into a “rear-naked choke” before locking him into a “triangle choke” for the 20 minutes that it took for police to arrive.  More

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Man finds cockroach, 25 babies living in his ear

Posted By Staff

Date: August 28th, 2015

roachesChina – Doctors in Guangdong Province, southern China were recently horrified to discover an entire family of roaches living in a young man’s ear, after he came in complaining of earache,The People’s Daily Online reported.

The 19-year-old man, named only as Mr Li, woke up in the middle of the night after his right ear began itching and hurting.

When Mr Li went to hospital in the morning, doctors looked in his ear and found that it was crawling with tiny insects.

Doctors believe a female cockroach made herself a home in Mr Li’s ear canal several weeks before, before laying eggs.  More

The inoffensive everyday phrases used by reporter Alison Parker that earned her a death sentence because Flanagan deemed them ‘racist’

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I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club

Posted By Staff

Date: May 29th, 2015

Category: Nutty Jokes

fitnessI feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising….

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.

But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.  More

Omaha Steaks

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“Goodbye, Mother!”

Posted By Staff

Date: April 27th, 2015

Category: Nutty Jokes

oldA young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.

Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.

It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel so much better.”  Continued

Samsonite

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Second child abuse allegation against Vikings’ Peterson comes to light

Posted By Staff

Date: September 16th, 2014

petersonTexas – Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was accused of abusing another of his children in an incident more than a year before the All-Pro was indicted on felony charges last week, a Houston television station reported Monday.

KHOU-TV reported Monday that the incident occurred in June 2013, while the boy, then four years old, was visiting Peterson from out of state. The station reported that the child suffered a head wound that left a scar above his right eye. The scar was still visible weeks later.

The station also obtained text messages between Peterson and the boy’s mother in which Peterson said he had disciplined his son for cursing at a sibling.

“I felt so bad,” one of Peterson’s messages says. “But he did it to his self [sic].” Peterson never answers when asked what he hit the child with, but later says “Be still n take ya whooping he would have saved the scare [scar]. He aight [all right].”  More

Texas Rangers investigate leak of Adrian Peterson police file

Vikings great Fran Tarkenton ‘embarrassed’ by decision to allow Peterson to play

Radisson becomes first company to drop NFL sponsorship amid abuse cases

US to deploy up to 3,000 military personnel to fight Ebola in West Africa

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Global Warming – Maine sees below freezing temperatures in August

Posted By Staff

Date: August 29th, 2014

globalESTCOURT STATION, Maine – Parts of northern Maine saw the first below freezing temperatures since spring, according to the National Weather Service in Caribou.

Estcourt Station had a low of 31 degrees Friday morning, which was one of the coldest temperatures in the nation.

Only a few locations in Alaska were colder.

It’s the first time since June 1 that the temperature at Estcourt Station dropped below freezing, according to the NWS.  More

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Security guard takes out public pooper with a tackle

Posted By Staff

Date: August 13th, 2014

wsSEATTLE – A Seattle security guard was able to help bring a public pooper to justice after he witnessed him defecating on a walkway near the Washington State Convention Center.

The guard was taking a break when he allegedly saw the suspect taking a number two.

After he confronted the man about his non-courteous crapping, a confrontation ensued and the two men “exchange(d) words,” Seattle Pi reported.

Following the argument, the pooper took off and the guard sprinted after him and tackled him to the ground. When police arrived on the scene, they saw the guard detaining the man with a headlock.  More

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Russian train passengers finish beer of man who fell off while trying to get fresh air

Posted By Staff

Date: August 11th, 2014

beerMOSCOW – Passengers of a Russian train finished the beer of man who fell off while trying to get fresh air during a trip from Moscow to the town of Petushki.

The train took a hard turn while he had a car door open and the unnamed man tumbled off.

He left some luggage, including some tools, and a beer behind.

The man’s belongings just sat there for a while before a male passenger reportedly picked them up and finished the beer, the Moskovsky Komsomolets reported.  More

 

 

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A newsboy was standing on the corner…

Posted By Staff

Date: July 21st, 2014

Category: Nutty Jokes

cornerA newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it; Fifty people swindled!” Fifty people swindled!

Curios, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, “Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?”

The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, “read all about it; Fifty-one people swindled!”    More Nutty Jokes

 

 

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Lion

Posted By Staff

Date: July 20th, 2014

Category: Nutty Jokes

lionA guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.

He stopped one of the runners and asked: “What’s happening?”

The runner replied breathlessly: “A lion has escaped from the zoo.”

“Oh my, which way is it heading?”

“Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”   Today’s Nutty Joke

 

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Toothless man charged with gumming roommate’s arm for not cleaning his ear

Posted By Staff

Date: July 16th, 2014

toothlessLAKEWOOD , Washington - A Washington man with no teeth has been charged with assault and malicious mischief after he allegedly gummed his roommate’s arm after she told him she wouldn’t clean his ear.

Kenneth Chambers’ roommate at the Rancho Villa mobile-home park in Lakewood turned down his ear-cleaning request and he allegedly got so upset that he broke a door off its hinges and went after her wrist with his toothless mouth.

The 52-year-old didn’t have his teeth in during the alleged attack, “but still bit down hard enough to hurt” the woman.

Chambers also choked the victim and dumped water on her, causing damage to her hearing aid, KOMO reported.  More

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Incredible sight of the elephant that cried

Posted By Staff

Date: July 7th, 2014

vet elephantIndia – These incredible pictures show the moment an elephant who was held in chains and beaten and abused for fifty years cried as he was released to freedom.

Raju the elephant was left bleeding from spiked shackles and living on hand-outs from passing tourists after he was captured and tied up by his ‘owner’.

But, after 50 years of torture, the animal cried tears of relief after he was rescued by a wildlife charity in a daring midnight operation – fittingly on American Independence Day.

North London-based charity Wildlife SOS stepped in to save Raju from dying in his bonds after learning of his plight in India.  More

 

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Do you realize…

Posted By Staff

Date: June 6th, 2014

40Today’s Nutty Joke 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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New White House Press Secretary

Posted By Staff

Date: June 5th, 2014

nothingToday’s Nutty Joke

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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