Archive for the ‘Today’s Nutty Joke’ Category

Sometimes I wake up…

Posted By Staff

Date: June 20th, 2014

grumpyToday’s Nutty Joke

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you realize…

Posted By Staff

Date: June 6th, 2014

40Today’s Nutty Joke 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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New White House Press Secretary

Posted By Staff

Date: June 5th, 2014

nothingToday’s Nutty Joke

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Karma

Posted By Staff

Date: June 1st, 2014

karmaToday’s Nutty Joke

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ole Blue

Posted By Staff

Date: February 26th, 2014

 

ole blueA young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. “Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at college that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!”

“That’s absolutely amazing,” his father says. “How do I get him in that program?”

“Just send him down here with $1,000? the boy says. “I’ll get him into the course.” So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.

About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. “So how’s Ole Blue doing, son,” his father asks. Continued: Today’s Nutty Joke

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A state trooper pulled over this farmer…

Posted By Staff

Date: February 15th, 2014

stateOn a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said:

“Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of your truck several miles back?”

To which the farmer replied:

“Thank God,

I thought I had gone deaf!”

Today’s Nutty Joke

 

 

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Clarence

Posted By Staff

Date: February 14th, 2014

hillThere were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly.

John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence.

This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river.

John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.

When the bridge was finished, he left the house and returned in a matter of minutes.

His wife asked what was wrong, didn’t he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence?

He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn’t realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign:

“CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN”   Today’s Nutty Joke

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At The Fabric Store

Posted By Staff

Date: February 13th, 2014

fabricAt a fabric store, a pretty girl spots a nice material for a dress and asks the male clerk: How much does it costs?

“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk.

“That’s fine,” said the girl. I’ll take ten yards.”

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, and then teasingly held it out.

The girl took the bag and pointed to the old man standing beside her, and smiled,

“Grandpa will pay the bill.”   Today’s Nutty Joke

 

 

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The Drunk

Posted By Staff

Date: February 9th, 2014

crawlA man got really drunk one night in his local pub.

The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home.

The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away.

He tried to stand up again but only fell over again.

He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air he’d be grand.

So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell over again.

In the end after falling over lots more he decided to crawl home.  Continued: Today’s Nutty Joke

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Bad day at the course?

Posted By Staff

Date: February 5th, 2014

golfFred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired.

“Bad day at the course?” his wife asked.

“Everything was going fine,” he said.

“Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee.”

“Oh, that’s awful!”

“You’re not kidding.”

“For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.”  Today’s Nutty Joke

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Twenty Dollar Bills

Posted By Staff

Date: February 4th, 2014

bagA little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, “Ma’am, There are $20 bills falling out of your bag.”

“‘Oh, really? Darn!” says the little old lady.

“I’d better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me..”

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money?’ You didn’t steal it, did you?”  Continued: Today’s Nutty Joke

 

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The Native American

Posted By Staff

Date: February 2nd, 2014

nativeA Father and his son are hiking in the grand canyon. The go around some bends, over some hills, and through some nooks. They round the bend and see a native American sitting on a rock.

The father points to the native American and says, “son, native Americans have the best memory of any peoples in the world”

The young son thinks he’s quite the smart one and goes up to the native American and says, “What did you have for breakfast last Tuesday.”

Without hesitation the Native American responds, “eggs.” The son is impressed and goes on with the hike with his father.  Continued: Today’s Nutty Joke

 

 

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Two elderly sisters

Posted By Staff

Date: February 1st, 2014

footTwo elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game.

Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

“I think so, too,” said Mabel.

“Let’s go!”

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse.

They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half.  Continued at Today’s Nutty Joke

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Aruba

Posted By Staff

Date: January 7th, 2014

aruba

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Nutty Joke