Owed Money

Posted By Staff

Date: January 9th, 2018

Category: Nutty Jokes

lawyerA man went to his lawyer and asked him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?”

“Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer.

“Nope,” replied the man.

“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you,” said the lawyer.

“But it’s only $500,” replied the man.

“Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!”

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Stickman drawing of school shooting on student’s homework leads to Florida man’s arrest

Posted By Staff

Date: January 6th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

stickA Florida man is charged with making a violent written threat after school officials found a rudimentary drawing of a gunman shooting people outside a burning school on a kid’s homework, authorities said.

The man, Robert Paul Alexander Edwards, 33, of Mexico Beach, Fla., was arrested Friday on a charge of making a written threat to kill or do bodily injury, a second-degree felony, Gulf County Sheriff Mike Harrison said Monday.

Edwards is being held on $150,000 bond pending a Jan. 2 hearing in Gulf County Circuit Court.

If he is convicted, he could face as long as 15 years in prison and a fine of $10,000.  More

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Man alleges bobcat attack; condo owner says it was house cat

Posted By Staff

Date: January 6th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

bobA Florida contractor says he was attacked by a bobcat inside a woman’s condo, but the animal’s owner says her feline is no predator, just a 10-pound domestic longhair kitty named Calli.

The contractor, Marcos Hernandez, filed a lawsuit in Tampa on Dec. 19, alleging condo owner Christine Lee illegally kept a bobcat inside her unit.

He said a bobcat scratched him on May 16, causing serious injuries after he entered the condo to conduct a fire safety inspection.

Hernandez was in the condo alone, Lee said, something that shouldn’t have happened.

She said an employee from the building was supposed to accompany him inside.  More

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Half-ton butter sculpture

Posted By Staff

Date: January 6th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

butterA half-ton (0.45 metric tons) of butter has been transformed into a sculpture celebrating Pennsylvania’s dairy industry and heralding the start of the state’s 102nd Farm Show.

Agriculture Secretary Russell Redding says the sculpture unveiled Thursday highlights the careers and roles the dairy industry plays in the state.

The sculpture features renderings of a cow and a farmer, an agronomist, a milk processor and a shopper with a basket full of products.

The butter came from waste scrap butter unsuitable for human consumption.  More

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United Airlines flight diverted to Alaska due to passenger’s poop

Posted By Staff

Date: January 6th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

lavaA flight from Chicago to Hong Kong has been diverted to Alaska after a passenger allegedly smeared faeces in two of the plane’s lavatories.

The United Airlines flight rerouted to Anchorage after the incident, in which the passenger also allegedly attempted to flush his shirt down a toilet, according to officials.

The man, whose name was not released, spread his excrement around the toilet facilities on Flight 895.

FBI spokeswoman Staci Feger-Pellessier said there were no indications the incident was terror-related, and no injuries were reported.  More

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Fishing on the Job

Posted By Staff

Date: January 6th, 2018

Category: Nutty Jokes

fishAn insurance broker, living in Florida, loves ocean fishing and decided to take his boat out for a troll.

That morning, he was drifting about ten miles offshore and received a business call on his cell phone.

Suddenly, his rod bent double and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool.

This salesman was master of the situation.

“Pardon me,” he told his customer calmly.

“I have a call on another line.”

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Elephants Deserve Legal ‘Personhood,’ New Lawsuit Argues

Posted By Staff

Date: January 5th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

elephantIn the first case of its kind in the United States, an animal rights group has filed suit seeking legal personhood for elephants who are being kept at a Connecticut zoo.

“The Nonhuman Rights Project’s lawsuit on behalf of the elephants — Minnie, Beulah, and Karen — marks the first time in the world that a lawsuit has demanded that an elephant’s legal right not to be imprisoned and treated as a thing be recognized,” said Steven Wise, founder of the Nonhuman Rights Project (NhRP), which filed the suit.

Wise is arguing that animals such as elephants, which have complex cognitive and social abilities, should not be counted as “things” under the law, meaning they “lack the capacity for any kind of legal rights,” he said.  More

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Lucky passenger gets plane entirely to herself after getting booked on wrong type of flight

Posted By Staff

Date: January 5th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

emptyA lucky holidaymaker got an entire plane to herself after unknowingly being booked on the wrong type of flight.

Beth VerSteeg took a selfie showing the rows and rows of empty seats on her flight from Rochester, New York, to Washington, DC.

The passenger got VIP treatment after scoring herself the seat on a plane intended solely for airline staff.

Beth’s original flight had been cancelled and the passengers were moved to the ‘crew only’ aircraft.   More

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It’s so cold in Florida, iguanas are falling from trees

Posted By Staff

Date: January 5th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

treesIt’s so cold in Florida that iguanas are falling from their perches in suburban trees.

Temperatures dipped below 40 degrees Fahrenheit (5 degrees Celsius) early Thursday in parts of South Florida, according to the National Weather Service in Miami.

That’s chilly enough to immobilize green iguanas common in Miami’s suburbs.

Palm Beach Post columnist Frank Cerabino tweeted a photograph of an iguana lying belly-up next to his swimming pool. WPEC-TV posted images of an iguana on its back on a Palm Beach County road.  More

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Rats! DC wages war against resurgent rodents with dry ice

Posted By Staff

Date: January 5th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

ratsAny mists spotted rising over the swamp may just be Washington wielding its newest weapon in its never-ending war on rats: dry ice.

The District of Columbia’s rodent control division’s program manager, Gerard Brown, tells The Washington Post the frozen form of carbon dioxide complements the poison the city uses, as reported rat complaints reach a four-year high.

Last month, Brown and Mayor Muriel Bowser oversaw a demonstration in which health department staffers stuffed dry ice into a northeast Washington alley rathole.  More

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Man breaks into evidence undetected, takes back bike

Posted By Staff

Date: January 5th, 2018

Category: Nutty News

policeProvo police say a man broke into the department’s evidence room undetected and took back his bike.

Deseret News reported Thursday that the burglary went unnoticed until the person who originally was found with the bike was arrested again and told officers David Elwin Snow was bragging that he “pulled off the crime of the century.”

The 37-year-old Snow and his brother had gone to the department on Dec. 18 to retrieve the bike, but since they never reported it stolen they had a hard time verifying it was Snow’s bike.  More

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I Just Made You Half Owner!

Posted By Staff

Date: January 5th, 2018

Category: Nutty Jokes

buyA very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I welcome you into the family!” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”

The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”

“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”

“I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk.”

“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?”

“Easy,” said the son-in-law. “Buy me out.”

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Impatient passenger leaves delayed plane via emergency exit

Posted By Staff

Date: January 3rd, 2018

Category: Nutty News

airAn airline passenger was arrested after leaving a plane delayed on the tarmac at a Spanish airport via the emergency exit.

Passenger Fernando Del Valle Villlobos captured the incident, which took place on Monday, in a video that showed the man walking along the wing with his bag in hand.

Del Valle Villlobos said the Ryanair flight had left London an hour late and passengers were then held on the plane for a further thirty minutes after landing in Malaga, without explanation from the airline.  More

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Split Second vs Nano Second

Posted By Staff

Date: January 3rd, 2018

Category: Nutty Jokes

waitingI have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years.

What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond?

My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a fancy dinner when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this dress look bad on me?”

If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. However, since I took a split second before responding, she had to go back up to her closet to change, again.

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Flight out of California canceled when rat boards the plane

Posted By Staff

Date: January 3rd, 2018

Category: Nutty News

alaskaA plane scheduled to depart from a California airport was grounded when a rat was seen boarding the aircraft shortly before takeoff time.

Oakland International Airport spokeswoman Keonnis Taylor said Alaska Airlines Flight 915 had been scheduled to depart for Portland at 9:15 a.m. Tuesday, but the plane was evacuated when the rat was spotted.

“The plane is currently out of service,” Alaska Airlines said.

“It will be returned to operations once it’s certified rodent-free by a professional exterminator. The aircraft will also be thoroughly inspected to ensure no damage has been done.”  More

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